I speak of God occasionally, but have never dedicated an entire blog piece to my Higher Power. I can't explain my God, and I don't need to. That's something the Ego wants me to attempt, and the Ego's actions always lead to frustration. I only need to feel and have faith that someone beyond explanation is watching over me.
I recently imagined what my God might say to me about my life. That thought led to the letter below, written by my God to me, prior to my birth. It's obviously in my words, but these words come from the soul, where I'm sure my God resides.
If the idea of a God offends you, that's fine. If the idea of a God appeals to you, that's fine. Either way, perhaps this letter will touch another in some small way and inspire him or her to find peaceful bliss.
Dear Todd:
I'd like to explain a few things about your upcoming life that I think you should know. You might wonder how—and especially why—certain events are going to happen, but please try not to fret over this. I know it’s going to be a challenge not to worry, but I do have a plan for you. Trust me.
You’re going to be brought into this world facing some serious difficulties. Your mother will be the first person you love. Your stepfather will be the first person you fear. I'll be there in both instances, to help you recognize and appreciate the love and to offset the overwhelming pain your stepfather will cause to not only you, but to your entire family. It might not seem like it at times, Todd, but I'll be with you throughout it all. Don’t ever forget that. Trust me.
You'll grow up with some significant insecurities and emotional wounds, but you’ll eventually heal. You'll hurt in a way you could never expect, but you will heal in a way you could never imagine. You'll run from the pain and occasionally mistakenly think that you've gotten past it, but the wounds will still be open. It's just part of the grand process—the aforementioned plan I have for you—in my time. Please know that I'd never let you remain wounded forever. I'll care for those wounds like they're my own. I know a few things about pain and suffering, and I won’t let yours last ... the same way my father didn’t let mine last. Trust me.
It won't all be painful, Todd. You'll have lots of beautiful experiences and you'll meet some wonderful souls throughout your life—souls who will love and nourish you and make you laugh and smile—especially when you need smiles the most. One of those souls will be your grandmother. I'll keep you two very close, connected from the start and for eternity. I've already spoken to her about you, and she joyously awaits your arrival. She knows her task and she'll perform it with love unlike any other mortal possibly could. She'll carry you because I will carry her. Trust me.
When you’re ready and it’s time, I'm also going to bless you with a patient and loving wife and three beautiful soul-filled sons. The most profound love you will ever feel will be that which you give to and receive from those boys. Nurture them like they're me. Because, Todd, they are me. And I am them. Trust me.
Yes, Todd, it's going to be quite the adventure. And, it will culminate—and don't let this startle you—when you crash into me and crumble into a million pieces. The crumbling really is the only way, for as you break so will all that past conditioning and long-held-onto pain. Todd, the gift I want for you is hidden inside all the assembled pieces, beyond what you’ve seen. So I’m going to shake it up. For you. For me. Trust me.
You’ll see a light resting among the shattered ruins -- a light so bright you’ll barely be able to look at it. That light is your soul, Todd. And, when you find it, you’ll have found that wonderful gift. You’ll have found me, because that’s where I reside ... in your soul. Once that happens, you’ll begin to understand the plan I have for you. The plan for you to enjoy a peace the world can neither give nor take away. It's bliss. It's your birthright. And you will find it. Trust me.
Basically, Todd, your life will evolve in three stages:
1) The will of others for you.
2) Your will.
3) My Will for you.
As you will learn, My Will is by far the best of these three. Hang on, my beloved Todd. While the ride might seem unbearable at times through the first two stages, the final enlightening stage is the stuff that dreams are made of—the stuff that I’m made of. When you find this bliss, please share it with others because they also need to know that it’s attainable. Give them hope so they can find their souls, their bliss. You can show them how. You can inspire them. Trust me.
Todd, I read this with tears in my eyes. I felt as though you were talking about my early life only mine was not a step father but my ex husband. I have questioned my faith on many occasions. I have questioned God, I have questioned if there really is a God....after reading this post you have given me something I have not had in a very long time and that is HOPE. Hope that there really is a God, Hope that he really does have a plan for my life, Hope than I can someday soon find the peace and bliss you have found. Thank you my dear friend for posting such a beautiful and inspirational letter. It seems as if you know when someone is at their lowest point and you post this and give HOPE. I do believe you are an angel sent from above.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE healing! Feel it? Now go get the bliss. Thanks for reading my thoughts!
DeleteVery well said. Thank you for sharing what God shared with you Todd. This is a subject that so many struggle with. Thank you for your willingness to share your deepest struggles & thoughts with us. Your friend in recovery ~ Sandi
ReplyDeleteSandi, I appreciate your note! And, thanks for reading this. Peace!
ReplyDelete