Gramps

Funny what spending time with your grandpa can do for your soul ...

I quite often think of my deceased grandfather, affectionately known as "Gramps," and what he might think about me today, and what our relationship would be like. He went to a better place many years ago, when I was much younger. But, during the short time I had him he always soothed me and made me feel wanted and loved. He knew how much I needed him.

I miss him so much.

After all these years, though, I can still smell him. I can feel his seemingly permanent five o’clock shadow whiskers on my face. I see those whiskers contrasting against the white sink when I shave each morning. I can sense his arms around me, comforting me with his kindness.

I once asked my grandmother what she missed most about him after he died, and she simply replied, "His kindness." So powerful. So true. Nearly brought me to my knees when she said that.

I remember when Gramps died, and my Mom woke me up on a Saturday morning to tell me. I remember it like it was yesterday. I cried for days. I was terribly sad, and only as I have gotten older have I realized just how much I miss and need him, then and now.

Writing this, thinking about him, I wish I could run into that place far away from here to see him so he could hold me close again. To smell him. To feel those whiskers. To feel his embrace, his comfort and kindness. I know that is impossible, so I conjure up the memories. I find great solace in knowing that wonderful man saved me ... back then, and still today with the sense I will always have of his touch.

When I see my father-in-law embrace my sons and love them, I feel Gramps nearby. That permanent emotional bond surfaces. I am so grateful for those moments. He's here. I know it. I see it. I feel it.

Funny what thinking about your grandpa can do for your soul ...